Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize