Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize