i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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