I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize