If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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