I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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