It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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