I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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