She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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