he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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