The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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