So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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