I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize