Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Can you bring me the toilet please
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize