i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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