He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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