what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
now i know why i became what i already was.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
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shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
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Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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