I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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