Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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