you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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