How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize