he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Holy shit dude........stairs
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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