I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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