I could make wine with my vomit
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
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Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I could fuck to npr.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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