my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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