Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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