I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Actions speak louder than pants.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize