I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize