when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
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Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
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So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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