Welp...herpes.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
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If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
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I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize