I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize