I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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