i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
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Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
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he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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