i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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