By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize