He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Someone signed my nipple.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize