that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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