I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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