NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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