My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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