in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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