Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Terrible idea I love it
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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