If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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