New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize