We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize