my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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