What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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