Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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