Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
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I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
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Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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