I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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