my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize