I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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